Put The Toilet Seat Down – Couples Etiquette

Theoretically, what goes up, should come down.  This is the backbone of the toilet seat issue.  It is most courteous to always put the seat down after lifting it for use. Gentlemen, I’m speaking to you because women have no use for a toilet seat in the up position.

I frequently hear men saying, “Why do I always have to remember to put the seat down?  Why can’t she remember to put it up for me?”

The question at hand comes down to a safety issue.  Take this story a male friend shared with me into consideration.

During his regular routine of getting ready for bed, he left the toilet seat up.  In the middle of the night, his wife had a desperate urge to make a run to the bathroom.  Getting there in the nick of time, she sat down on the rim of the toilet seat.  Losing her balance, she fell into the bowl and hit her head on the tank.  The tank lid fell to the floor shattering pieces of porcelain all over the bathroom.  She broke her back and my friend had to get stitches in his feet after cutting them on the broken pieces of porcelain as he assisted her.

The lesson to be learned: To maintain a happy and healthy relationship, put the toilet seat down.

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14 Responses to Put The Toilet Seat Down – Couples Etiquette

  1. Scottitude says:

    You’re half right. Regardless of gender, both the seat and lid should be put down after lifting one or both for use. This places equal responsibility (or burden, if you prefer) on both genders.

    The lesson to be learned is that a healthy and happy relationship is a two-way street that requires eaual support and cooperation from both ends.

    A woman leaving the lid up and the seat down is just as inconsiderate and self-centered as a man leaving the seat up.

  2. My recommendation is to close the lid. This is good practice as it contains the germs when flushing, is recommended in feng shui practice, one is less likely to drop something in it by mistake and it make the room look tidy.

  3. I say if you’re a man, leave the seat up and if you’re a woman, leave the seat down; even steven!

  4. Doug says:

    There’s a new product that makes putting the toilet seat down effortless. http://www.drop-a-seat.com   Gravity does all the work and all a guy has to do it tip the seat and let it drop, the cushions absorb the impact and eliminate noise. http://www.drop-a-seat.com

  5. Mary says:

    Since this is an etiquette site and the purpose is to advance being polite to others, the considerate thing for a man to do is to put the seat AND lid down. The considerate thing for a woman to do is to put the lid down. It is NOT  about “even steven” as Mr. Lauzon suggested. Etiquete is about the polite thing to do, not the self-serving thing to do.

  6. Chris says:

    My whole thing is where did this come from? Who said it was proper ettiquette to put the seat down? I just had a 3 hour argument because I forgot to put the lid down ONE time in the house I pay rent in, buy food for, pay bills in for something so simple as a woman looking at the toilet before she sits down. As a single man a great deal of my life, I’m used to my seat being up or even closed. If I have the sudden urge to urinate at night I still look before I stand, sit, or do anything so why is it incredibly difficult to do the same as a woman? I agree with the guy who said either both keep the seat closed or just lift/put the seat down/up before you use the restroom. This argument sounded like one person not wanting the responsibility of putting the seat down or not looking when they fall in.

  7. Sandy Hyde says:

    Etiquette is about respect and helping others feel comfortable. There are rules to help us do this. However, the rules cannot be followed 100% of the time. Occasionally, we have to go with the flow to make other people, who may not know the rules, feel comfortable.

    I have posted a guideline for the rules of the toilet seat. Do you have to follow them in your household? Absolutely not. However, you do need to agree with the people in your household on a rule that works for all of you. Pick your battles wisely. I’m not sure arguing about the toilet seat for 3 hours is the best use of time in the grand scheme of life.

  8. threadkiller says:

    I’m curious if anyone can come up with something equivalent to the toilet seat thing, only where women have to do all the work for the men. since in this situation all the “doing” falls to the man.

    • e.reiss says:

      @threadkiller, haha. How about having a baby? Women have a bit of a disproportionate share of the work there.

      The toilet seat “burden” reminds me that I have a responsibility to take care of the women in my house, or wherever I may be. For that I am grateful. Call it sexist if you like, but I believe it is in line with our God-given roles.

  9. marie says:

    Men and women can BOTH sit to use the toilet, eliminating the problem. If men want to stand up as an option (which women can’t do), then lift the seat and put it back down to the neutral position where everyone can use it.

  10. Judy says:

    Before men left their parents home, they left the toilet seat down. Now all of a sudden, they are trying to change.It is the man who opens the door and carry heavy loads for us. why are you trying to change what you have been doing all your life? ijs

  11. Judy says:

    Men put the seat down before leaving their parents home.They carry heavy loads & open doors for us. It’s the gentlemanly thing to do.Why are they trying to ignore good manners?

  12. Julian says:

    the net really comes in handy for stuff like this, gotta say. My female roomie is leavings notes in the john to leave the seat down when I’m done. As she owns the house I gotta comply. It’s annoying for a veteran bachelor like myself to re toilet train, but I’ll try.My Dad was king of the castle so Mom and sis had to deal. Now I’ve got to deal. Oh well.

  13. Brad says:

    We have 3 men and 1 woman in a house. It makes no sense for 3 people to adjust a seat for 1 person. This is not an emotional argument ladies. It is a logical one. Lift the seat ladies, we do everything else for you.

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