Etiquette School of Ohio

Deodorant Is Essential

The use of deodorant is essential for good hygiene and personal grooming. Apply it daily. For some people, and depending on your activity level, more than once a day.

If you don’t like to apply processed chemicals to your body, health food stores sell natural deodorants.  Being green does not give you permission to have body odor.  Without the use of a deodorant, you will emit an unpleasant odor from your underarms.  Most people find the odor offensive.  If you have it frequently, you may find it difficult to socialize with others or hold a job.  Nobody wants to share your funky smell.

It’s important for parents to talk to their young teenagers about the use of deodorant.  Without a little coaching, teens may not realize when they need to start applying it as their body matures.

Don’t Judge Others by Clothing Labels

At a recent event I attended, I overheard one woman ask another who manufactured her dress?  The woman wearing the dress quietly answered by saying it had been awhile since she purchased the dress and couldn’t remember.  (I must say she looked stunning.)  The first woman insisted it must be one of two designers and had to know.  She jumped out of her chair, ran over to the woman wearing the dress and read the label inserted in the back of the dress.  Learning the dress was not a designer label, she announced to everyone the dress was from a common clothing store.   She then looked at the woman as if she was wearing a burlap bag and laughed.

It doesn’t matter who makes the clothing or how much it costs.   Do not embarrass anyone by announcing their clothing labels or judge them by the amount of money they spend on their clothing. What matters is good hygiene, good grooming, and appropriate attire.

Be Considerate When Sending Large E-mail Attachments

Please don’t send a large e-mail attachment without the recipient’s approval or prior knowledge. You don’t want to annoy someone because their computer is inoperable while they wait for your file to download.  It’s also possible they don’t have the computer software to open your attachment, which can be very frustrating.

Before sending the attachment, contact the recipient and ask them if you can send a file, the size of the file, and the format of the file.  They may ask you to delay sending it, send it in several e-mails if possible, or suggest an alternate format.

Be Helpful at a Trade Show or Convention

When a company has a booth at a convention or trade show, it is viewed as a fixture and host to all visitors attending the event.   Company employees working in the booth are perceived to be knowledgeable about the event even if they are visitors to the venue city themselves.  It is important all employees working in a booth familiarize themselves with the event schedules and amenities such as the location of the restrooms, exits, and food vendors.

Being helpful to a visitor can be wonderful PR for a company.  The visitor may not be a potential customer, but they will remember your company name and speak highly of the company in the future.

Please Wait Your Turn For Service

If you approach a customer service counter and see an associate or customer service representative speaking with another customer, do not barge up to the counter and interrupt their conversation. It is appropriate to stand aside or behind them and wait for your turn.

If the clerk offers good service, he or she will acknowledge you and let you know they will be with you as soon as possible.  They may even call another employee to assist you if one is available.

Be Prepared to Order When Dining Out

A restaurant server is very busy and has many tables to tend to.   Please be considerate of the server’s time as well as the other dining guests by knowing what you would like to order when the server asks. If you aren’t ready to order, simply ask the server to give you a few more minutes.

If you keep the server waiting while you continue to read the menu and hem and haw over each item, they are not able to properly serve other tables, consequently, lowering their overall tip from everyone due to slow or inattentive service.

Do Not Spritz at the Table

Personal grooming is inappropriate at the table. Do not comb your hair, apply lipstick, file your nails, or, the most recent etiquette violation I observed, apply perfume.

I was enjoying dinner at a restaurant the other evening when a woman, sitting in the booth behind me, applied perfume from a spray bottle.  The odor was so intense I could only taste and smell her perfume for the remainder of my meal.  My dining experience was ruined and I left with a headache.

Never apply perfume, body mists, or scented lotions in a public place - especially at a restaurant. In fact, when dining, wear very little perfume or none at all so your senses can appreciate the taste and aroma of the food without distraction.

Gentlemen, this rule applies to your cologne and aftershave too.

Do Not Applaud Yourself

Do not applaud yourself when being introduced, acknowledged, or honored.

As I watched the Academy Awards last night, I was shocked at the number of Oscar nominees who applauded while their name was announced.

If your name is mentioned while people are applauding, smile, or at the very least have a pleasant expression on your face, and acknowledge the person making the introduction and those applauding for you with a nod of the head.  But never, ever applaud for yourself.  Doing so would be the equivalent of standing up and conceitedly saying you’re wonderful or regressing to the actions of a baby applauding its latest accomplishment.

Respect the Personal Space of a Pregnant Woman

It is never appropriate to touch the belly of a pregnant woman without permission. Would you want relatives or strangers reaching out and patting your belly?  Our stomachs are private areas.  Just because the pregnant belly protrudes a little more than most, does not make it common ground.  Please respect the personal space of a pregnant woman.

Many pregnant women have asked me how to handle the awkwardness of someone reaching out to touch their larger than normal bellies.  One easy way is to reach your hand out to stop them and say, “I’m sorry, this baby is fussy and likes his/her/its privacy.”

One of my clients asked if she could reach back and pat the belly of the obtrusive person.  Sorry, this might be effective, but two wrongs do not make a right.

Cooling Your Soup

Last night, I was enjoying dinner at a lovely restaurant when I noticed the man at the table adjacent to mine blowing on his soup to cool it.  The man was a little too enthusiastic with his task because he blew so hard the soup sprayed onto the table and the lady seated across from him.  I have to speculate, if this was a first date, I doubt there will be a second date.

Blowing on your soup to cool it is never acceptable, even if you blow gently.  If your soup is too hot to eat, let it sit and cool while you engage in conversation with others at your table.