Etiquette School of Ohio

Don’t Judge Others by Clothing Labels

At a recent event I attended, I overheard one woman ask another who manufactured her dress?  The woman wearing the dress quietly answered by saying it had been awhile since she purchased the dress and couldn’t remember.  (I must say she looked stunning.)  The first woman insisted it must be one of two designers and had to know.  She jumped out of her chair, ran over to the woman wearing the dress and read the label inserted in the back of the dress.  Learning the dress was not a designer label, she announced to everyone the dress was from a common clothing store.   She then looked at the woman as if she was wearing a burlap bag and laughed.

It doesn’t matter who makes the clothing or how much it costs.   Do not embarrass anyone by announcing their clothing labels or judge them by the amount of money they spend on their clothing. What matters is good hygiene, good grooming, and appropriate attire.

Do Not Applaud Yourself

Do not applaud yourself when being introduced, acknowledged, or honored.

As I watched the Academy Awards last night, I was shocked at the number of Oscar nominees who applauded while their name was announced.

If your name is mentioned while people are applauding, smile, or at the very least have a pleasant expression on your face, and acknowledge the person making the introduction and those applauding for you with a nod of the head.  But never, ever applaud for yourself.  Doing so would be the equivalent of standing up and conceitedly saying you’re wonderful or regressing to the actions of a baby applauding its latest accomplishment.

Exchanging Personal Phone Numbers

Never give your personal phone number to someone if you are not comfortable doing so.  It is always important to be polite, but you must consider your safety first.

If you are asked for your phone number and do not want to share it, you might say, “Thank you for asking, but I’m very busy right now.”

Never give someone a fake number.  By doing so, you are giving them hope and may anger them when they discover it’s a false number.  You wouldn’t want someone to do that to you, would you?  Honesty is the best policy.

How To Exit From A Boring Conversation

Have you ever been at an event and found yourself in a conversation with someone you have absolutely nothing in common with?  You have most likely felt trapped.  Here is a way to exit that conversation without offending that person:

As you close the conversation, shake the hand of that person and comment on something they discussed with you during the conversation.

For example:  “It was a pleasure meeting you Joe.  Good luck in your upcoming chess tournament.”

Don’t make up a lie for an exit strategy.  That person will see you did not visit the restroom, get a drink, or make a phone call.

TV Off When Entertaining

Unless you’re having a party to specifically watch a sporting event, movie, or other show, the television should be turned off when entertaining guests.

Do Not Wander When Dining Out

While on a date or dining with a group, do not leave your table to wander around the restaurant and visit with others. It’s acceptable to excuse yourself from the table to visit the restroom, but make it a direct trip.

I was dining with a group of people this past weekend, and a member of our party left the table and was absent for a significant period of time.  As I gazed around the restaurant out of concern for this person, I saw them at the bar socializing.  Several other people from our table also noticed the reason for the absence.

Such an action communicates a message you would rather socialize with people other than the people you made a commitment to dine with.  In short, it’s rude and reflects a poor image.

The Importance of an RSVP

An RSVP is critical to the planning of a successful event.  It gives the host or hostess a number to work with when making arrangements for food, beverages, seating and more.

If you fail to appropriately RSVP or uphold your commitment to the RSVP, your are creating a difficult situation for everyone involved.

If you say you are attending the event and don’t show, money was spent anticipating your participation.

If you don’t RSVP and decide to show up at the last minute, you are taking resources away from the other guests who did RSVP.

A good example is a wedding I attended this past weekend.  72 guests replied to the invitation indicating they would be attending the Friday night reception.  100 people actually attended the reception.  There was not sufficient seating for all the guests at dinner and many had to eat dinner while standing.  The food was also limited.  Some people didn’t get a dessert.

The next evening at the wedding reception, 16 people who said they were attending did not.  The bride and groom had to pay for those 16 meals.

If you make a commitment to attend an event, you should not back out unless there is a personal emergency you have to attend to.  If you do have an emergency, you should notify your host or hostess as soon as possible.  None of the 16 no shows informed anyone they would not be attending.  I also doubt there were 16 personal emergencies on the same night of this wedding.

Use A Coaster Under Your Drinking Glass

Drinking glasses have a tendency to sweat and can damage furniture by leaving a watermark in the shape of a ring on the furniture.

Always place a coaster or cocktail napkin under your drinking glass before setting it down on a piece of furniture. If a coaster or cocktail napkin is not in sight, ask your host or hostess for one.  I’m sure it was an oversight on their part and they’ll appreciate you asking so their furniture is not damaged.

Using a cocktail napkin under your drinking glass also helps absorb moisture so water droplets won’t fall on your clothing when you lift the glass.

When Flirting Crosses the Line

Webster’s Dictionary defines flirting as amorous behavior without serious intent.  If you find yourself engaging in playful conversation with serious intent, you need to know who you are having this conversation with and immediately stop it before crossing a line.

You have crossed the line if:

1) Either party is married or in a serious relationship.

2) You cannot share any part of the conversation with your partner.

Do these rules sound similar to anything you may have read in the Bible?  The Bible and etiquette are closely related and flirt on common topics.

Sharing the TV Remote Control

I have heard marriages and friendships have been broken because two people were unable to share the television remote control.  Here are a few tips to help avoid these broken relationships:

1) Do not change the channel without asking for permission from other viewers.

2) A good time to ask is during commercial breaks - not in the middle of breaking news.

3) Do not revel in the power of the remote. Regard its use as you would navigate through a first date.  “What would you like to watch?”  Do you want to continue watching this program or would you like to search for another?”  “Do you want the remote or would you prefer I change the channels?”

4) Do not hide the remote from others.

5) If you stop to watch a channel while surfing, ask before before you begin surfing again.

6) Always place the remote in the same place after use so you can easily find it when you want it.  End or coffee tables are good locations to avoid being goosed by the remote when sitting down.

7) Never throw the remote. Unlike a Nerf ball, it can cause bodily injury.

Only use the remote with clean hands. Others don’t want to feel the grease from your chicken wings.

9) Never use the remote as a tug-of-war prop. That’s what ropes are for.

10)  Do not mischievously change the channel when the other person has momentarily left the room and then pretend it was a glitch from outer space messing with your TV.  Martians know better than that.