Etiquette School of Ohio

No Cell Phones in the Restroom

Restrooms are not appropriate places for cell phone conversations.  The last time I checked, the bathroom stall did not replace the phone booth.  Is there no modesty anywhere, any more?

I don’t want to hear your phone conversation while doing my business.  I really don’t care about your social plans, your sex life, or your issues with your boss.

Don’t expect me to hold the flush or wait to blow dry my hands until you hang up.  If the person on the other end discovers where you are, that’s your problem.

And finally, think about the germs that may be on your phone from the bathroom mist the next time you use it.

Be Courteous in the Gym

I was the only person exercising in the fitness center early this morning when a married couple walked in.  Without asking, they turned the lights off, changed the television station, and sprayed a disinfectant on the machines nearby creating a floating cloud of mist I almost choked on when inhaling.

I don’t expect to have the fitness center to myself.  I’m more than happy to share, but it would have been nice if this couple at least said hello or good morning.  It would have been even nicer if they asked me if I minded if they turned the lights out, changed the television station, or sprayed their disinfectant.  The lights and the TV really didn’t bother me.  The disinfectant did.  How did they know I wouldn’t have an allergic reaction to it?

When sharing the gym or fitness center with others, please be courteous and ask other people who are exercising if they mind if you make a change they will all be effected by. This is especially important if someone was there before you.

The actions of this couple today are no different than a child coming into a room to play and taking the toys away from the other children.  Which they also did by jumping on the weight machines I was using in between my reps.  It’s not like it was crowded or there were no other machines.  They insisted on using the machines I was using at the time.

I came home to finish my workout.  I hope they have a good one.

Miss USA 2009 Pageant - 1 Step Forward, 2 Steps Back

As a pageant coach and a former Mrs. Ohio USA title holder, I am constantly working to educate the public that not all beauty contestants are empty minded bombshells.   Gone are the days when questions are answered with canned answers we think the judges want to hear such as, “My favorite color is red, white, and blue”.

Today’s pageant contestants must know who they are, know the issues, and speak up for what they believe in.  Contestants should be judged on how they deliver and support their position on issues, not on whether the judges personally agree or disagree with their positions.

During a live broadcast of the Miss USA Pageant this past Sunday night, Miss California was asked how she felt about gay marriage.  She said she is against it.  Whether or not I agree with her answer, I applaud Miss California for standing up for what she believes and supporting it.  Unfortunately, the camera caught a shot of the judge, Perez Hilton, shaking his head in disbelief after hearing her answer.

Miss California placed as first runner-up to Miss North Carolina at the completion of the competition.  Did her answer place her in that position?  We will never know, but will always wonder.  Miss North Carolina did an outstanding job and had high scores in each area of competition all evening.  She is well deserving of the title and I wish her much success during her reign.

No matter who won that evening, a great disservice was done to all young people watching the pageant.  How will they now decide to answer future pageant, job, or college interview questions?  Will they be true to themselves or did they learn to tell the interviewer what they want to hear just to get the job?

Personally, I will continue to be true to myself, speak my mind and coach others to do the same.  I will also continue to respect the opinions of others whether or not I agree.   Isn’t this what freedom of speech is all about?  Or is your favorite color really red, white, and blue?

Happy Easter!

“Thank You” Can Make A Spiritual Connection

A prayer is a means of communicating on a spiritual level.  Prayers do not need to be lengthy or complicated.  Two words imperative to proper etiquette can also be a very simple prayer.  These two words are thank you.

Saying thank you regularly throughout the day and truly meaning it, can give a sense of gratitude.

You can repeat these words to yourself, share them with others, or silently think them.  However you choose to say them, be truly grateful.

Say them when you see a beautiful sunset, make it through a stop light, avoid hitting an animal with your car, or enjoy the coziness of a warm blanket and fire.  Perhaps you’re grateful for someone holding a door, an elevator, or a heavy box.  Did you enjoy a cup of coffee, a hot shower, or a piece of chocolate?  Maybe a friend made you smile by sending an e-mail just to say hello or maybe you discovered you didn’t send an e-mail you wrote while you were upset yesterday.

Whatever it is, say thank you and feel grateful.

Thank you for visiting my site.

Being Seated For Lunch or Dinner

As I watched the Presidential Inauguration of Barack Obama, I was very surprised to see the difficulty the banquet managers had getting the guests to take their seats at the Inaugural Luncheon.  While millions of Americans watched, political officials, high ranking dignitaries, and even former presidents continued to stand and talk while announcements to take their seats were repeatedly made.  Uniformed personnel were ignored as they walked through the crowd asking guests to please take their seats so the luncheon could begin.

What message did this behavior send to the many young children watching?

When attending a luncheon or dinner, the host or hostess will announce lunch or dinner is ready to be served.  At this time, you should move to the dining room to be seated as soon as possible.  Politely end any conversation you may be having and do not stop to have an in depth conversation with another guest.  Find your table.  Introduce yourself to anyone you don’t know at your table and be seated.

“I Need You To…Say Please”

My husband and I recently refinanced our home with a mortgage company.  If you’ve ever been through a home closing or a refinancing, you know there are many papers to sign and the process can take up to an hour.

During our closing, the mortgage company representative continually said, “I need you to sign here.”  Not once did she ever say please.  By the end of the closing, I didn’t want to be ordered to do one more thing.

The same day, I stopped in a retail store to return an item I purchased the week before.  When I approached the sales associate at the counter, she told me, “I need you to go to register 3.”  The sales associate at register 3 returned my item, but told me, “I need you to fill in your address and sign at the bottom.”

I then went to a medical appointment and after signing in, the receptionist said, “I need you to take a seat.”  Once I was in an exam room, the nurse said, “I need you to put this gown on.”  The doctor came in and told me, “I need you to take a deep breath.”

Would you please notice the pattern here?

What is happening to the etiquette of being polite?  Please do not demand someone to do anything for you.  The practice of being polite in our society is deteriorating.

Please stop the rudeness and say, “please”, when phrasing a request.

An Exemplary Example of Etiquette

Good etiquette is not snobbish or upper crust as many would presume.  Good etiquette costs nothing except an occasional few minutes of your time.  Good etiquette is not obvious, but leaves a lasting impression.

If you are good with etiquette, you will practice it 24/7.

A man I recently met was good with etiquette and did practice it 24/7.  He left a lasting impression with me because I always felt good after he left.  He never used monetary or material things when he practiced etiquette, but unselfishly gave of himself and his time to be there when you needed someone.  This individual was sincere, trustworthy, grounded, and down to hearth.  He always knew exactly the right words to say at the right time to pull you up when you were down and out.

I don’t know how well this man could maneuver his way through the silverware of a 7-course formal dinner.  It doesn’t matter.

This man was a walking example of why etiquette rules exist - to make others feel comfortable and good about themselves.  I doubt he had any formal etiquette training.  He was a natural who took the values his parents and family gave him and became one outstanding individual.

On September 19, 2008, the world lost one good example of etiquette.  Those of you who knew Albert Broussard, and even those of you who didn’t, I challenge you to continue his legacy of being one great example of etiquette.

As Al’s work on earth is done and he takes the road back home, I’m sure he’ll hear the words, “Job well done”, for the many people he helped to feel better about themselves.

May sorrow be gone and peace be with you.

Driving Etiquette - Merging Traffic Must Yield

I drive on expressways daily and am always cautious of merging traffic.  I frequently witness acts of rudeness and road rage as drivers attempt to make a spot for themselves in traffic whether they have the right of way or not.  Recently, merging traffic has become a sensitive issue with me, not only on the expressways, but also on surface streets as the drivers in my area attempt to navigate around fallen trees and wires in the aftermath of Hurricane Ike.

Today, another driver passed me on the right only to find workers in that lane cutting down a fallen tree. (I guess the big and colorful “Right Lane Closed Ahead” signs were not big or colorful enough for them to see.)  Without using a turn signal, this driver made an unsafe lane change into the line of traffic that did see the signs and almost caused an accident.

In November of 2007, the University of Dayton conducted a study to better understand the reasons behind traffic accidents occurring at the point of merging traffic.  One of the results, that should wave a red flag, showed a very high majority of drivers think the car merging into traffic has the right of way.

On the contrary, the law states the through traffic has the right of way and merging traffic must yield.

This does not, however, mean the through traffic should not give the merging traffic a chance to pull in.  By all means, if you can, safely pull over into the next lane to allow the merging traffic to enter.  Or be polite and adjust your speed so the merging car can enter in front of or behind you.  I’ve had drivers in the through traffic play games with me and sit right next to me until my lane ended.  If I increased or decreased my speed, they did the same while laughing the entire time.

Consider using your turn signal.  All cars have them on board for a good reason.  They can be used to effectively communicate your desire to change lanes to other drivers.  If you see someone with their signal on, please be polite and allow them to merge in.  Too many drivers take the defensive and say, “I’m not letting anyone get in front of me.”

If we all follow the laws and work together, perhaps road rage and accidents could decrease significantly.  Not only would this be a step towards better driving etiquette, but it would also be a big step toward being green.

Driving Etiquette - Stopping In Right-Of-Ways

I understand the need to drop a passenger off at the door, unload or load your vehicle, ask for directions, or communicate with the driver of another vehicle. What I don’t understand is why people do these things in the middle of a road or driveway. Do people who do this realize they are making other people wait for them causing traffic backups?

Today, while I was driving from one appointment to another, it seemed the majority of these traffic blocking citizens were out in force.

I was waiting at a stop light. When the light turned green, the line of cars did not move. The light cycled again and still the line of cars did not move. I assumed there was either a traffic accident or a disabled vehicle ahead. When I was able to get a clear view, it was a man who left his car to walk to the one in front of him to ask for directions. What happened to pulling into a nearby service station to ask for directions?

In another incident, I was waiting at a crosswalk for a pedestrian. No problem. But after the pedestrian had safely crossed, the car ahead of me did not move. The driver and passenger were having a conversation. Eventually, the passenger got out of the car which was still in the middle of the road, and walked to a nearby building. I wondered if the driver had ever heard of the side of the road. It would be much safer for the passenger exiting the car and would not have blocked traffic up into the intersection.

As the population continues to increase in our country, we have to be aware of how are actions effect others. I am very concerned about the “It’s all about me”, attitude of people. Such an attitude has nothing to do with making this a better world to live in. Such an attitude doesn’t even come close to the concept of living green. Think of the gas waisted in both of the incidents I told you about today.

Always remember, no matter where you are or what you are doing, there is a reaction to every action. The principles of etiquette help to emphasize the positive to make this a better place in which to live. Please be considerate of others and think about how your actions are effecting others.