Etiquette School of Ohio

Be Considerate When Sending Large E-mail Attachments

Please don’t send a large e-mail attachment without the recipient’s approval or prior knowledge. You don’t want to annoy someone because their computer is inoperable while they wait for your file to download.  It’s also possible they don’t have the computer software to open your attachment, which can be very frustrating.

Before sending the attachment, contact the recipient and ask them if you can send a file, the size of the file, and the format of the file.  They may ask you to delay sending it, send it in several e-mails if possible, or suggest an alternate format.

Maintain Appropriate Subject Headings - E-mail Etiquette

When sending e-mail messages, be sure the subject heading is directly related to the topic of the conversation.

If you are communicating with someone about a topic and change that topic, change the subject heading as well and start a new thread.

If you are starting a new conversation through e-mail, do not open an old e-mail from that person, on a different topic, to send your new message.  Instead, start a new message.  Most e-mail programs will allow you to easily find your recipients address so you don’t need to use an old e-mail.

Remove Names of the Deceased From E-mail Lists

A friend of mine who served on a committee with me recently passed away.  As the committee began to prepare for its next meeting through e-mail announcements, I noticed my friends name was still on the mailing roster.  This was obviously an oversight, however, we need to be aware of little details like this.  It may be very painful for the family of the deceased person to receive these messages.

You would not send mail through the postal service to a deceased person, would you?  E-mails should be regarded in the same manner.

1)  Remove the name of the deceased from all mailing and group lists. It may be a difficult thing to do symbolically, but be courteous of their in box and the family members who might have to sort through the mail.

2) If you receive e-mail with a deceased persons name included in the recipients, please remove their name before replying to all.

3)  Check older e-mails to make sure the name of the deceased person has been removed before using it as a group list or using it as a reference.

E-mail Etiquette - Sending Bad News

Avoid sending bad news in an e-mail. Think about the reaction the recipient might have to the news of a death, loss of job, or critical accident.  They shouldn’t be alone when receiving such information.

When receiving bad news, hearing another person’s voice can help someone deal with the situation much easier.

Responding to SHOUTING E-mails

Yesterday, I wrote about writing e-mails using capital letters where they do not grammatically belong and how such an e-mail would be perceived as shouting and rude.

Since writing that post, I have been asked how to deal with individuals who write e-mails using all capital letters or worse yet, slang or curse words.

If you receive such e-mails from someone in a professional setting and are not their manager, it is not your place to correct them.  However, you can set a proper example by continuing to communicate with them - always demonstrating good grammar along with exceptional netiquette skills.

Hopefully, this individual is sharp enough to learn by example.  If not, perhaps their manager will find someone else to do the job who does demonstrate e-mail literacy.

E-mail Etiquette - Please Do Not SHOUT

Graphic designers frequently use capital letters in advertisements and poster designs.  The capital letters might bring your attention to a particular product or set a style for the design.  Used in this manner, the public does not take any offense to the capital letters.  They are just letters in the upper case.

When capital letters are used in e-mails, it is considered shouting and is very rude.  People associate an emotion with these capital letters.  It is also very difficult to read capital letters in an e-mail.

Unless you want to be shunned or cause a ruckus, please restrain from using all capital letters in an e-mail message.

E-mail Etiquette - Reply vs. Reply All

When responding to an e-mail sent to a group of individuals, make sure you reply appropriately.

1) If you are responding to an e-mail regarding the original subject title, reply to the entire group to keep everyone involved in the e-mail thread.  To do this, select the reply all option.

2) If you are responding to an e-mail in regards to a subject different from the original subject and the subject still includes everyone on the original e-mail list, select the reply all option.   Change the subject title.

3) If you wish to communicate with the original sender about an individual concern which does not include others in the group e-mail, select the reply option.  Please be courteous to the individuals on the group list and do not include them in an individual conversation.

Replying To An E-mail

When replying to an e-mail, include the original message along with any additional correspondence so the person receiving it can easily reference past communication on that particular topic.

If you are changing the topic of the e-mail, then start a new e-mail with a new subject title.

Thank You Notes: Electronic vs. Handwritten

I am frequently asked when a handwritten thank you note should be sent vs. an e-mail thank you note. My answer is very simple, always.

If someone has taken time to go out of their way to do something special for you, they deserve a handwritten thank you note. Certainly, an e-mail thank you gets the message across quickly. However, the handwritten note adds a special touch.

This is very similar to a handshake. Do you want to receive a warm sincere handshake or will the soft, wimpy, get it over with style do?

E-mails May Not Be For Your Eyes Only

I have heard so many horror stories about private e-mail messages that have been sent where they shouldn’t have gone.

There’s the e-mail that gives a full recollection of last night’s romantic date.

Or perhaps there’s the message about what you would like to do on tonight’s date.

Don’t forget the one about how you really feel about the boss.

You thought your friend looked atrocious in her polka gown at the charity ball?

Your mother-in-law can take what and put it where?

I think you get the picture and have possibly received or sent such a message.

A basic rule to follow:

If you wouldn’t want it on the front page of the New York Times, don’t write it or send it. You never know where your e-mail may end up.