Etiquette School of Ohio

Be Prepared to Order When Dining Out

A restaurant server is very busy and has many tables to tend to.   Please be considerate of the server’s time as well as the other dining guests by knowing what you would like to order when the server asks. If you aren’t ready to order, simply ask the server to give you a few more minutes.

If you keep the server waiting while you continue to read the menu and hem and haw over each item, they are not able to properly serve other tables, consequently, lowering their overall tip from everyone due to slow or inattentive service.

Do Not Spritz at the Table

Personal grooming is inappropriate at the table. Do not comb your hair, apply lipstick, file your nails, or, the most recent etiquette violation I observed, apply perfume.

I was enjoying dinner at a restaurant the other evening when a woman, sitting in the booth behind me, applied perfume from a spray bottle.  The odor was so intense I could only taste and smell her perfume for the remainder of my meal.  My dining experience was ruined and I left with a headache.

Never apply perfume, body mists, or scented lotions in a public place - especially at a restaurant. In fact, when dining, wear very little perfume or none at all so your senses can appreciate the taste and aroma of the food without distraction.

Gentlemen, this rule applies to your cologne and aftershave too.

Cooling Your Soup

Last night, I was enjoying dinner at a lovely restaurant when I noticed the man at the table adjacent to mine blowing on his soup to cool it.  The man was a little too enthusiastic with his task because he blew so hard the soup sprayed onto the table and the lady seated across from him.  I have to speculate, if this was a first date, I doubt there will be a second date.

Blowing on your soup to cool it is never acceptable, even if you blow gently.  If your soup is too hot to eat, let it sit and cool while you engage in conversation with others at your table.

Someone Is Using Your Bread Plate - Dining Etiquette

The rules of etiquette are there to make others feel comfortable in social and business settings.  If you are in the presence of someone who breaks an etiquette rule, do not embarrass them by pointing out their mistake.  Instead, use your etiquette knowledge to come up with an appropriate plan ‘B’.

For example, if the person seated next to you mistakenly uses your bread plate, leaving you without one, say nothing.  Use the rim of your dinner plate as a substitution.

Dinner Is Ruined

It can happen very easily.  You might read the recipe incorrectly, become distracted while cooking, or forget to set the timer to remind you to take something out of the oven.  No matter how it happened, ruining a meal when you have guests waiting in the dining room for dinner can be devastating.

The first thing to remember in this situation is to remain composed.  Your guests will take their cue from you.  Evaluate what you have on hand.  Can you turn the salad into a main entree?  Is there time to make something else?  If not, before you serve the appetizers or salad, call for carryout.  Most oriental or Indian restaurants deliver.   Don’t even mention the problem to your guests until the doorbell rings for the food delivery.

Your guests will laugh with you and be amazed at how well you handled the situation.

Do Not Snap Your Fingers at a Server

If you need to get the attention of your server in a restaurant, try to make eye contact with them to get them to return to your table.  If they are busy, and you’re unable to get eye contact, ask another server to tell them you would like to speak with them.

Never, under any circumstance, snap your fingers to get a server’s attention.  You may have seen this work on the silver screen, but it will not get you favorable service in the real world.

Eavesdropping

As tempting as it may be to eavesdrop in the office, a restaurant, or a public space, it’s important to try to tune out the conversations of others.

Sometimes it is absolutely impossible to not overhear a conversation, but if you do, do not interject yourself in the conversation or comment on it to others or to the individuals having the conversation.

In simple terms, mind your own business.

How To Use A Wedge Of Lemon

If you are served a wedge of lemon to flavor tea, iced tea, fish, or other foods, you may want to squeeze the lemon in the drink or on the food.

Gently squeeze the juice of  the lemon on the desired food while shielding it with your other hand to prevent it from squirting elsewhere.  You may then drop the lemon wedge in your cup or glass if you are flavoring a beverage or place it on the edge of your plate.  It is preferable to place it on your bread plate if you have one at your place setting.

Do Not Wander When Dining Out

While on a date or dining with a group, do not leave your table to wander around the restaurant and visit with others. It’s acceptable to excuse yourself from the table to visit the restroom, but make it a direct trip.

I was dining with a group of people this past weekend, and a member of our party left the table and was absent for a significant period of time.  As I gazed around the restaurant out of concern for this person, I saw them at the bar socializing.  Several other people from our table also noticed the reason for the absence.

Such an action communicates a message you would rather socialize with people other than the people you made a commitment to dine with.  In short, it’s rude and reflects a poor image.

Spreading Condiments on Your Food

Condiments such as mustard and ketchup should be placed on your plate first.   Then, using a knife, spread the mustard or ketchup on your burger or sandwich.

Do not apply a condiment directly on your sandwich from the bottle.