I don’t want to hear your phone conversation while doing my business.  I really don’t care about your social plans, your sex life, or your issues with your boss.

Don’t expect me to hold the flush or wait to blow dry my hands until you hang up.  If the person on the other end discovers where you are, that’s your problem.

And finally, think about the germs that may be on your phone from the bathroom mist the next time you use it.

As I approached the woman, I saw she was holding a cell phone by her side while having a business conversation on the speaker phone.

I enjoy shopping because it is an opportunity to escape from the daily grind and relax.  It was so frustrating have to hear business taking place where I like to relax.  It was also very uncomfortable hearing information I didn’t think I should be hearing.  I tried to ignore the conversation, but both parties were speaking so loudly, I couldn’t help hearing every word.  I finally had to leave that area of the store.

If you’ve read past posts, you know I recommend finding a private area to have a cell phone conversation in so you don’t disturb the people around you.  If you intend to have a conversation over the speaker phone, you absolutely must find an area where no one else can hear the conversation. Not doing so is rude to the people around you as well as the person on the other end of the conversation.

I’ve encountered similar situations in retail stores and restaurants as well as during conversations with friends when their cell phones ring.

If someone is having a conversation with you in person, they take precedence over the person calling you on the phone. Voice message systems were developed to take messages when you are unable to answer a call.  If you must answer the call, take a brief message and inform the caller you will call them back.

Your message should be precise.  Leave your name, your company name, your phone number, a brief explanation of the  nature of your call, and a good time to call you back.

For example:

“Hello Mr. Smith.  This is Sandy Hyde from the Etiquette School of Ohio.  I’m returning your call regarding information about upcoming etiquette seminars.  I can be reached at 937-469-4800 after 2:00 this afternoon or anytime Friday.  Thank you.”

Avoid rambling and unnecessary “ums” and “uhs” as much as possible by rehearsing or writing your message before you make the call.  By doing so, you will always maintain a professional image.  Your business contacts will appreciate your efficiency and organization.

When visiting a spa, please respect other guests by lowering your voice.  Also, refrain from loud outbursts of laughter, no matter how funny a situation might be.

Be sure your cell phone is off.  There is no place for telephone conversations in the spa.  If you can’t miss a call, perhaps you should reschedule your treatment.

• I do not need to know they have been in the restroom for the past 20 minutes and should be out soon or just left their desk to go to the restroom - so give them a little extra time. (Is there a problem?)
• I do not need to know they haven’t arrived to the office yet. (They are not punctual)
• I do not need to know they left the office early for the day. (They are slackers)
• I do not need to know who they’re meeting with. (They’re meeting with my competitor!!!)
• I do not need to know how long they’ve been gone for lunch. (Not punctual and a slacker)
• I do not want a run down of their busy schedule. (You don’t think my schedule is busy too?)
• I do not need to know mom or dad is taking a bath. (Too much information)
• I really do not want to know the new puppy just got sick all over the new sofa. (Note to self: do not sit on that sofa during the dinner party this weekend)
• I don’t want to know mom or dad doesn’t want to speak with me. (Why, don’t they like me?)

The rules for answering a business phone are the same rules that apply to answering a home phone. Employees and children should be taught the same basic manners.

Simply say, “I’m sorry, _______ is not available to speak with you at this time. May I take a message?”

Co-workers and bosses may find the theme from “Star Wars” or Brittany Spears’ “Oops, I Did It Again” annoying and a bit juvenile in the office.

Always remember a professional image will help you succeed in your career.

Most recently, at my father,s funeral, a cell phone rang during the eulogy - not just once - but two separate times! An ultimate example of disrespectful cell phone use.

Here are a few basic rules for cell phone use so you don’t become the person who is annoying:

1. Silence the phone or turn the phone off in public places. Voicemail was invented to answer the phone when you can’t. How did we survive before the invention of cell phones?

I was waiting in a doctor’s office and heard a guy tell his friend he was going to ditch his date with a girl to hang with the guys.  The girl was one of my best friends.  Oops!

2. Don’t shout. Everyone around you does not want to listen to your conversation. In respect to the person on the other end, keep the conversation private. Step outside or find a private location if you can’t call back later.

3. Don’t multi-task. This includes checking out at the local store or fast food restaurant, walking down the sidewalk or in the mall, and driving. If you can’t give 100% to what you’re doing, step aside or pull over.

How many times have you been in line behind one of these offenders?

4. Give 100% of your attention to the people in your presence. For example, dining with others in a restaurant, attending a meeting, completing a transaction at the store or bank, or speaking with a co-worker or client in an office.

I was being interviewed by a television reporter about cell phone etiquette when her cell phone rang in the middle of the interview - she answered it! Perhaps she was trying to get a reaction from the etiquette expert?

5. Turn the ringer volume down or use the vibrate mode.

You may love to hear, Tip Toe Through the Tulips, but others don’t want to hum it all day when it gets stuck in their head.

6. Phones off in the audience or congregation. This includes theaters, churches, funeral homes, business presentations, and outdoor amphitheaters.

The invention of technology is wonderful, but let’s use it to enhance our lives and not to contribute to rudeness and disrespect of others.

Please share your cell phone stories. Everyone has at least one!

However, what should you do if you forget to turn the phone off or you find yourself in conversation with someone when the phone begins to ring?

Turn the phone off immediately. Do not take time to look at the caller ID.  When you can, check your voice mail and return the call.  That’s what voice mail is for.

I can’t tell you how many times I have been at a professional luncheon when a cell phone rings and the owner allows it to continue ringing.  Do you really think we don’t know who that phone belongs to?

We are bombarded with so many unwanted noises on a daily basis.  Please do not add to this list by making everyone listen to your pager to aid your self-importance campaign.

Please silence your pager by programming it to operate in a vibrate mode.