Etiquette School of Ohio

Whitsles and Cat Calls

I live in a neighborhood which is under development. I can tolerate an occasional cement truck blocking the road or the sound of hammering going on throughout the day. What I cannot tolerate are the unsolicited hoots, hollers, and whistles, the workers freely yell out.

Being yelled at in this manner, is not considered a compliment by a lady.  In fact, the men, (notice I did not use the term gentlemen), are demeaning themselves when performing such an act.

What happened to “Hello”, “Nice dress”, or “You look very nice today”? Gentlemen, these are the words a lady will notice and accept favorably.

To be fare to the men, there are some women who need to follow this advice as well. Sexual harassment can go either way.

Driving Etiquette - Hand Gestures

Nobody likes to be told they are #1 when the incorrect finger is used. (I’m referring to the middle finger.) It is inappropriate to give an aggressive hand gesture to anyone, especially when driving.

Displaying a nasty hand gesture does not correct the situation and it may distract the other driver risking the safety of others on the road. Today’s drivers are aggressive enough without aggravating them more with your non-verbal gestures. Would you do this to someone face-to-face if they annoyed you at the supermarket while driving their shopping cart?

We must remember to practice patience on the road. Try to think of the person who is annoying you as a family member such as a mother or father. Would you want someone to flip the finger at them?

I always try to right a wrong. If someone “flips the bird” at me, I simply smile and wave hoping I can make their day a better one.

Lipstick on a Drinking Glass

If you wear lipstick, blot your lips with a tissue before drinking from a glass to avoid leaving your lip markings on the edge of the glass.

Sometimes it is impossible to avoid leaving a lip mark on a glass even if you aren’t wearing lipstick. If you notice a lip mark, try to drink from the same spot each time so you don’t leave your mark around the entire rim of the glass.

Men are not excluded from this rule. Many of you wear a lip balm to protect your lips from sun and wind damage. Please follow the same protocol as the ladies do for their lipstick.

Arrival Time for a Meeting

To ensure a meeting begins at the scheduled time, all parties should arrive 3 to 5 minutes before the scheduled time.

Never arrive more than 10 minutes before the scheduled time. It may be perceived you do not have enough to do or you could possibly interfere with last minute preparations for the meeting.

It is always unprofessional to arrive late for a meeting without notifying meeting participants in advance.

Arriving Late for a Meeting or an Appointment

This etiquette expert would advise you to never arrive late for a meeting or an appointment. It’s not all about you. Other people have schedules too and your tardiness interrupts their schedules. You may also be perceived as being disrespectful to the people you are meeting with.

There are times when arriving late is unavoidable such as getting stuck in an unexpected traffic delay. If you are going to be late for a scheduled meeting, please call the party you are meeting with to apologize and notify them of your tardiness and your expected arrival time. Depending on how late you’re going to be, the party you are meeting with now has the option to delay the meeting, move forward and let you catch up, or reschedule the meeting.

Dining Etiquette - No Finger Licking!

A famous fast food restaurant uses the slogan, “It’s finger licking good!” Yes, their food is that good, but no matter how good it is, please do not lick your fingers at the dinner table.

Last night, I was dining at a casual restaurant. The man at the table next to mine ordered a beer and chicken wings. When he finished eating, he sat at the table and licked every finger one by one. He must be well practiced at this because he was able to carry on a conversation while he was “cleaning up”. I pity the person who is next to shake his hand.

You may have also seen the diner who uses the mustard or ketchup and wipes the edge of the bottle with their finger and then licks their finger off. Yuck!  They actually made their first mistake by using their finger to wipe off the edge of the bottle.

Use a napkin, finger bowl, or excuse yourself from the table, but never, never, never, lick your fingers at the dinner table.

Poise & Composure

How we handle a situation or unfortunate mishap influences how we are perceived by others. When we remain calm and in control of our emotions, we are perceived as having poise and composure. These people are also perceived as having a high level of confidence.

On the other hand, if you are flippant, overly emotional, or out of control, you may be perceived as being unable to handle difficult situations. Young adults, and some older adults as well, are perceived to be immature when they act in this manner.

I remember watching a high school scholastic competition. During the talent segment of the competition, one of the contestants was much more musically skilled for her age than another contestant. The highly skilled contestant made a few minor errors in her performance. She stomped her foot, shrugged her shoulders and marched off stage. The lesser skilled contestant made many more errors than the highly skilled contestant, but when she completed her solo, she bowed and beamed from ear to ear with pride knowing she gave it her all and warmly accepted the audience’s applause. The lesser skilled contestant did much better overall in the competition because of her positive attitude and appeal to the audience and judges. It’s how you handle the situation at hand that matters.

When I worked in public relations at a college, I was giving a tour of the college to a member of the press. During the tour, the heel of my shoe broke. My guest didn’t notice it, so I continued to complete the tour as if nothing happened. A few of the students who saw my heel break approached me later and asked why I didn’t do or say anything about it. I replied, “My guest didn’t know the heel was broken and bringing it to their attention would have been distracting to my meeting. I took care of it privately after my guest left.” Again, it’s how you handle the situation.

Here are a few tips to help you stay poised and composed:

1. Stay calm. Do not show negative emotions in public.

2. Take a deep breath and give yourself a moment to think of a response.

3. Foul language is always forbidden.

4. Remain positive and open to a new plan.

5. If you make a mistake, admit it, apologize, and move on. If you forgive yourself, others will also forgive you. Never continue to dwell on the negative.

Avoid Interrupting Someone’s Sentence

How many times has someone interrupted your sentence when you were about to make an important statement?

Perhaps a friend or spouse continually finish your sentences?

Do Mr. or Mrs. Know-it-all tell the story much better than you can?

Annoying, isn’t it?

As annoyed or hurt as you may become, you may be guilty of interrupting someone’s sentence as well. Hopefully, you immediately realize what you have done and apologize for your rudeness.  You must also work on not committing this act at all.

Here are a few suggestions to help you from becoming the annoying interrupter:

1. Pause a moment to think about what was said.

2. Say to yourself, “Are they finished speaking?”, before you begin to speak.

3. Watch the body language of the person speaking for indications of completion or continuation.

First Impressions

Research indicates people form judgmental opinions of others within the first seven seconds of meeting.

55% is based on visual perception

38% is based on tone of voice

7% is based on the actual words spoken

Prospective customers select people they like to work with.

What type of image are you or your company projecting?

The Etiquette School of Ohio offers image consulting to individuals and corporations to help increase your bottom line. For more information, contact Sandy Hyde at sandy@etiquetteschoolofohio.com.

Dining Etiquette - Entertaining Guests at a Restaurant

When entertaining guests at a restaurant, it is the responsibility of the host or hostess to make his or her guests feel comfortable. This is especially important when the guests are visiting a restaurant for the first time.

A few helpful tips to help your guests enjoy their dining experience to the fullest:

1. Always give the best seat at the table to your guest. This is usually the seat with the best view.

2. You may offer suggestions to your guests about the menu. For example, “This restaurant is known for its fabulous lamb chops” or “I’ve heard the pear salad is delicious”.

3. If the menu is in a smorgasbord style, you may offer a brief explanation about the menu. For example, an Italian restaurant may offer a variety of pastas with a choice of sauce and a variety of meat choices. You may offer an example of what you have ordered and enjoyed and how the meals are prepared to order. It is helpful to include the portion size of the menu items if known. I know I cannot finish an appetizer, salad, and entree if the portions are too large.

4. You may want to ask your guest what they plan to order before the server arrives to take the order. This allows you to match your selections with theirs. If they are having an appetizer, you may choose to order one as well.

5. If your guest plans to place an obscure order, you may want to make sure they understand what they will receive. For example, “I’ve made the error of ordering too many meats with my pasta in the past. I’ve learned they will give you the full portion size of each meat rather than giving you small samples of each selection. Is that what you were planning on?”

6. Make sure the server knows who to give the check to in advance. Better yet, if you have an account with the restaurant, have it charged to your account.