Etiquette School of Ohio

Where To Place the Tea Bag

I am frequently asked if a tea bag is placed in the tea pot or tea cup.

When the tea is served in a pot, the tea bag is placed in the pot. When served just a cup of tea, the tea bag is placed in the cup.

Use your spoon to remove the tea bag from the cup by keeping the tea bag on the spoon and twisting the string around the bag to squeeze out excess liquid. The tea bag is then placed on the saucer behind the cup.

When a Coworker Has a Cold

Hopefully, most people who have a severe cold stay home to recover rather than going in to the office and risk spreading the cold to coworkers.

Unfortunately, there are times when deadlines must be met or there are no more sick days to use. In these cases, an ailing individual would most likely prefer to be home as much as you don’t want them at work.

How should you deal with working next to an ill coworker? Do not complain. Mind your own business, take extra vitamin C, eat well, and get plenty of rest. If space permits, find an area to work in away from your coworker. You may even want to consider scheduling appointments out of the office during this time.

Doctors also highly recommend washing your hands frequently with soap and water for a minimum of 30 seconds.

Shaking Hands When You Have A Cold

When I see someone enter a social or business event with watery eyes, a runny nose, and a box of tissues, I want to run in the other direction to avoid catching whatever it is they have.

It is unfortunate many people do not have the courtesy to stay home when they are feeling under the weather.  If you absolutely must attend an event when you aren’t feeling up to par, be considerate and try not to share you illness.

If you find yourself in a situation where you should shake hands, politely say, “Please excuse me for not shaking your hand, but I don’t want to give you my cold.”

Also remember to cough or sneeze into a tissue turning your face away from others.

Please practice such courtesies in hope others will catch them and spread these healthy courtesies on to someone else.

Talking During a Presentation or Performance

There is a very good reason why theater managers ask you to unwrap candy and turn off cell phones, pagers and beepers before a performance begins. This is to keep theater patrons from being disturbed or distracted during the performance.

Never mentioned is a request to refrain from talking. One would assume adults know better than to carry on a conversation during such an event. Unfortunately, this is not the case.

I can’t count the number of times two people seated near me continued to talk after the curtain had gone up or a speaker had started their presentation. Have you ever tried watching a movie while the person behind you announces the scenes play-by-play before they happen?

The rule is quite simple. Do not talk during a performance or presentation.

My college students have learned I will not speak while anyone else in the classroom is speaking. When I step in front of the class, you can hear a pin drop.

What should you do if you find yourself sitting next to chatty Cathys or babbling Bobs? Body language is usually very effective. A turn of your head with an index finger on your lips usually does the trick. If it doesn’t, very quietly tell them you cannot hear the speaker or performers. The people also sitting around the chatters will most likely appreciate your gesture.

Sending Wedding Gifts

If you wish to give a wedding couple a gift, it is most appropriate to send the gift to the home of the bride or bride’s parents before the wedding rather than bringing the gift to the wedding. This etiquette rule also holds true for monetary gifts. It is very easy for gifts and envelopes to get lost in transit during or after the reception.

It is also helpful to place a gift card inside the gift box or tape it to the box top inside the wrapping paper. This will help keep the cards from getting separated from the packages during transit and makes writing thank you notes much easier.

Dining at a Restaurant Counter

If you are dining at a crowded restaurant counter and notice a couple or party of two looking for two seats together and you are sitting between two empty seats, please offer to move so the couple may be seated together.

If you are a member of the couple and no one offers to move over, it is acceptable to ask a person sitting between two empty seats if they would mind moving over a seat so you may sit next to your partner.

Funeral Processions - Funeral Etiquette

Funeral processions are part of a burial ritual in Christian faiths. They are typically a solemn event displaying a sense of dignity and respect for the deceased and their loved ones.

It is unfortunate that people who are not part of a funeral ceremony frequently fail to show respect for those in mourning when a funeral procession drives down a street.

This past weekend, I was a member of a funeral procession when an inconsiderate driver cut into the funeral procession right in front of me. I tried to forgive him thinking he didn’t realize what he had done and he would surely pull off to the side of the road once he realized he was driving in the middle of a funeral procession.

Sadly, he knew exactly what he had done and never pulled over. He continued to drive in the procession for over three miles taking advantage of going through red lights and stop signs. The driver of my car tried flashing his lights and honking the horn to alert this man of what he had done only to get the middle finger waved back at him.

The grieving process is quite emotional. The stress caused by rude and inconsiderate people is an unnecessary and unwelcomed emotion.

Mr. Funeral Procession Crasher, I’m sorry the funeral procession was poorly timed to slow down your commute. I hope the following day’s commute went much better. I wish my friend had one more day to commute along with you. As you are aware, his last commute was the procession you cut in to.

In observance of the Martin Luther King holiday, may we be grateful for all of our ancestors who had a dream and made a positive difference in our lives before passing on.

Joey, may you rest in peace.

Basic Cell Phone Etiquette

Cell phone use is quickly climbing to the top of America’s pet peeve list. It,s a shame a device so useful in emergencies, security, and business communications can be so annoying when used without following simple etiquette rules.

Most recently, at my father,s funeral, a cell phone rang during the eulogy - not just once - but two separate times! An ultimate example of disrespectful cell phone use.

Here are a few basic rules for cell phone use so you don’t become the person who is annoying:

1. Silence the phone or turn the phone off in public places. Voicemail was invented to answer the phone when you can’t. How did we survive before the invention of cell phones?

I was waiting in a doctor’s office and heard a guy tell his friend he was going to ditch his date with a girl to hang with the guys.  The girl was one of my best friends.  Oops!

2. Don’t shout. Everyone around you does not want to listen to your conversation. In respect to the person on the other end, keep the conversation private. Step outside or find a private location if you can’t call back later.

3. Don’t multi-task. This includes checking out at the local store or fast food restaurant, walking down the sidewalk or in the mall, and driving. If you can’t give 100% to what you’re doing, step aside or pull over.

How many times have you been in line behind one of these offenders?

4. Give 100% of your attention to the people in your presence. For example, dining with others in a restaurant, attending a meeting, completing a transaction at the store or bank, or speaking with a co-worker or client in an office.

I was being interviewed by a television reporter about cell phone etiquette when her cell phone rang in the middle of the interview - she answered it! Perhaps she was trying to get a reaction from the etiquette expert?

5. Turn the ringer volume down or use the vibrate mode.

You may love to hear, Tip Toe Through the Tulips, but others don’t want to hum it all day when it gets stuck in their head.

6. Phones off in the audience or congregation. This includes theaters, churches, funeral homes, business presentations, and outdoor amphitheaters.

The invention of technology is wonderful, but let’s use it to enhance our lives and not to contribute to rudeness and disrespect of others.

Please share your cell phone stories. Everyone has at least one!

How To Cut In At A Dance

If a gentlemen would like to dance with a lady who is already dancing with another man, he may cut in by approaching the dancing couple, tapping the man on the shoulder, and asking, “May I cut in?”

It is inappropriate for either member of the dancing pair to refuse the request to cut in.  If the first gentlemen would like to dance with the lady again, he must wait until the next dance to ask her or cut in.

How To Eat a Banana - Difficult Foods

Bananas are one of those foods frequently avoided when dining out because we’re not quite sure how to properly eat them.

When you are casually dining at home among family members, it is acceptable to eat this fruit by peeling it halfway down and eating it bite by bite while holding it in your hand.

When dining out, peel the banana skin completely off then cut and eat the banana one slice at a time.

You may dispose of your banana peel on your bread plate a.k.a. the trash plate. If you do not have a bread plate, place it on the edge of the plate you are eating from.  Never set the banana peel on the table.