Etiquette School of Ohio

How To Handle A Greeting When An Incorrect Name Is Used

My first name is Sandy. Occasionally, someone will greet me using an incorrect name such as Mandy or Candy. Either they incorrectly heard my name when we were initially introduced, or they were pretty close at remembering it.

When someone approaches me and says, “Good to see you again Mandy”, I simply extend my hand and say, “Sandy Hyde. It’s nice to see you again too Chris.”

By correctly stating your name in your greeting you have reciprocated the greeting as well as diplomatically corrected the individual so they will not continue to use an incorrect name throughout the conversation. You definitely don’t want to let this person introduce you to someone else incorrectly and correct them in front of that person.

When A Gentleman And A Lady Walk Together…

Traditionally, when a gentleman and a lady walk together down a street, the gentleman walks on the outside or curb side of the sidewalk.

When a couple is walking somewhere other than on a sidewalk, the gentleman always walks on the lady’s left side. This is the same position a wedding couple will exit the church after the ceremony.

In times past, it was not uncommon for a married man to have an escort for an evening. In this situation, the man walked on the escort’s right side. By doing so, it was very easy for others to identify the woman as his mistress or his wife.

Dining Etiquette - When Is It Appropriate To Begin Eating?

Proper etiquette is to wait until your host or hostess has taken the first bite of their meal before you begin eating.

This etiquette rule dates back to a time period before food was refrigerated.  The host or hostess would “test” the food to make sure it was safe for guests to eat.

If you are dining in a banquet setting without a host sitting at your table, make sure everyone at your table has been served before picking up your fork.

If you are the one person at the table waiting on your food and the delay appears to be lengthy, it would be polite of you to tell others at the table to not wait for you and begin eating before their meals get cold.

On What Side Do You Wear A Corsage or Boutonniere?

A corsage or boutonniere is always worn on the left.

Dining Etiquette - The Role of the Napkin

The napkin has several roles when used during a formal dinner.

1)  When the host or hostess places the napkin on her lap, the meal has begun.  Guests should also place their napkin on their lap at this time.

2)  The napkin is used to catch crumbs and wipe our hands on.

3) The napkin is used to dab, not wipe, our mouths.

4)  When the host or hostess places the napkin to left of his or her plate, it signifies the meal is over.

Attire - Flip Flops

Flip flops, which are flat rubber thonged sandals, are summer casual beachwear. They are meant to be worn at the beach with swim wear or worn casually with shorts. They are also frequently seen in locker room showers.

Never ever are flip flops to be worn with dressy attire or to a nice restaurant during dinner hours.

This evening, while dining in a nicer restaurant, I was admiring the lovely dress of the young lady seated next to me and looked down to notice she was wearing flip flops! As I was leaving the restaurant, I saw another young lady wearing flip flops with a social pant suit. In both cases, what could have been a very flattering, elegant look, was killed by the flip flops. What surprised me even more was the fact they were donning these flip flops when the temperature was still less than 50 degrees. That is not a beach wear demanding temperature by my standards.

A few years ago, I remember reading an article about a college student wearing flip flops with a sun dress when she visited the President at the White House. Her mother was appalled when she saw the photo in the newspaper.

Shoes need to be appropriate to the attire we are wearing. Casual shoes are worn with casual attire. Dress shoes are worn with business, Sunday, or evening attire. Evening sandals, satin shoes, or shoes adorned with beading and sequins are worn with evening, cocktail, and social attire.

Remember to keep the theme and color consistent. Hopefully, you would not wear an evening gown with white sneakers to gym class. Would you?

Funeral Etiquette - Attire For Pallbearers

If you have been asked to perform the honorable duties of a pallbearer in a civil funeral ceremony, you should wear a dark suit and tie. Ladies should also wear a dark suit if performing these duties. Shoes should also be dark and polished. Please avoid wearing white sneakers if possible.

If you don’t own a suit, you may wear dark slacks with shirt and tie. If you are asked to be a pallbearer by the family of the deceased, they hold your relationship in highest regards. Please don’t deny the responsibility because you don’t have appropriate attire. Your presence is what matters.

Military personnel may wear their dress uniforms as it is appropriate with military code.

How to Help Others Remember Names After Introductions

As hard as we try, it is sometimes difficult to remember names after introductions.  It is even more difficult to remember names when introductions have been made in a group setting.

If you are the person who made the introductions or you know everyone in the group, help others by using names in your conversation.

For example: “Joe, Becky is also a graduate of the University of Dayton.”  “Next month, Emily and Brad will be traveling to Hawaii for their honeymoon.” “John, please tell Brian about your experience volunteering for Habit For Humanity.”

Hearing the names reinforces our memory.  People also love to hear their names spoken so you will be making positive connections as well.

Spitting in Public

It’s a shame I even have to write about this topic.  I am totally disgusted by it and my sensitive stomach can hardly stand the thought of it.  Unfortunately, due to numerous sitings in the course of one day, I feel it is my duty to write and inform people about it.

Under no circumstance is it acceptable to spit in public.

I do not want to watch you open your car door while sitting at a red light and expectorate.  Nor do I ever want to see you relieving yourself of accumulated phlegm while walking, jogging, golfing, working out at the gym, bicycling, playing football or baseball, and especially not in front of me before entering a building.  I would also prefer not to step in it getting out of my car in a parking lot as I did yesterday.  It’s gross and unsanitary.

If you must spit, please do so into a tissue or handkerchief.  Ideally it would be best to excuse yourself to the restroom.  Should you find yourself outside without a restroom nearby, at least go to a discreet location, out of view from others, such as behind a tree or building.

Finally, why is it we can’t watch the “Great American Pastime” of baseball without having to watch the players spitting every couple of seconds?  I can assure you I never want to sit down in the dugout.

How To Eat Soup - Dining Etiquette

Without getting fancy or technical about types of soups or soup bowls, here are the basics of eating soup:

1) Use the soup spoon located on the outer, far right of your place setting. In casual dining situations, the spoon is frequently brought to the table on the service plate. Although this is not proper etiquette, it happens in casual settings.

2) Dip the edge of the spoon which is away from you into the soup first.

3) Collect the soup in the spoon by moving the spoon away from you.

4) Lift the spoon and brush the bottom of the spoon against the back edge of the bowl to catch any drippings which may be on the bottom of the spoon.

5) Keeping your head lifted and your spine straight, bend slightly forward from your hips. Lift the spoon up to your mouth. Avoid leaning your head down toward the bowl. The spoon comes to you.

6) DO NOT make any slurping sounds when eating your soup from the side of the spoon.

7) If you discover the soup is too hot, hold the spoon, with the soup in it, just above the soup level in the bowl to allow it to briefly cool. DO NOT blow on the soup.

I was is a 4 star restaurant when I saw a newly trained server attempt to help the customer cool their soup by leaning over and blowing on the soup. If there is - heaven forbid - any blowing going on - please let it be the owner of the soup.

To rest while eating soup, place the spoon in the bowl with the handle at 3 o’clock.

9) When finished eating, place the spoon on the edge of the service plate with the handle at 4 o’clock. If the soup was served without a service plate, leave the spoon in the bowl with the handle at 3 o’clock.