Etiquette School of Ohio

When the Main Course Arrives Too Early

When dining at a casual restaurant, the main course will occasionally arrive before you and other diners have completed the soup or salad course.

Rather than shifting plates around to find room on the table for both courses, simply ask the server to keep the meals warm in the kitchen for a few more minutes while you finish your salads.

Replying To An E-mail

When replying to an e-mail, include the original message along with any additional correspondence so the person receiving it can easily reference past communication on that particular topic.

If you are changing the topic of the e-mail, then start a new e-mail with a new subject title.

Toothpicks

Toothpicks were invented to aid in the removal of food stuck in between your teeth.

Toothpicks should be used in private and should never be used at the dinner table. If you have food stuck in your teeth, excuse yourself and go to the restroom to remove it.

Once you have used the toothpick, discard it.  Do not walk or drive around town with a toothpick dangling from your mouth.  This is especially important to remember when you are on a date so you don’t stab the person you’re saying goodnight to with a kiss.

Serving Snacks in a Serving Bowl

It’s very common to see snacks, such as pretzels or chips, casually set out in large serving bowls at a social gathering, meeting, or in the employee lounge.

When serving snacks in this manner, please include a serving utensil so hands are not dipping into the bowl and touching the food other people will be eating.  On the same note, please be sure to use the serving utensil provided.

If you’re in a jam and do not have appropriate serving utensils, use a cup or small bowl.  Perhaps this is not the most elegant solution, but in a casual setting, it is much healthier than using your hands and making it a community bowl.

Wedding Boutonnieres

The groom’s boutonniere should be a flower selected from the bride’s bouquet. All other wedding boutonnieres should be different from the groom’s boutonniere, but should coordinate with the wedding color theme or be a flower selected from the bridesmaids’ bouquets.

The following men should where a boutonniere for the wedding celebration:

Groom

Fathers

Stepfathers

Grandfathers

Brothers - even if they are not in the wedding party

Groomsmen

Ring bearer

Ushers

Boutonnieres should be pinned and worn on the gentleman’s left lapel.

The Teaspoon

The teaspoon should be brought to the table with the tea or coffee cup after the meal is completed and the table has been cleared of the main course.

The teaspoon should never be placed on the table with the initial place setting.

Spacing Individual Place Settings

When spacing individual place settings at the table, you don’t want your guests to be so close they bump elbows or spill food on one another, but you also don’t want them so far apart that conversation is difficult and turns into a shouting match.

A comfortable and appropriate distance between place settings is two feet from center of plate to center of plate.

The Dessert Fork and Spoon

If you see a fork and spoon positioned on the table above your plate, it does not mean the host was so considerate to have given you a choice of dessert utensils.  It means you will be served a dessert that includes a solid food with sauce or ice cream such as pie a la mode or cake with a rich chocolate sauce drizzled over it.  If both utensils are set on the table, you should use both utensils to dine.

The handle of the fork will be facing your left hand and the handle of the spoon will be facing your right hand.  Once the dessert is served, pull both utensils in the direction of the handles to each side of your plate.  In formal settings, the server may pull the utensils down for you.

Pick up both utensils at the same time.  Holding the spoon in your right hand, cut down through your dessert.  Holding the fork with the tines down in your left hand, push the bite size piece into the face of the spoon.  Rotate the face of the spoon to face up so it holds the bite of food and lift it to your mouth.  As you’re taking a bite, the fork remains in your left hand level with the plate.

By using this dining technique, you will not miss a bit of a scrumptious dessert.

Thank You Notes: Electronic vs. Handwritten

I am frequently asked when a handwritten thank you note should be sent vs. an e-mail thank you note. My answer is very simple, always.

If someone has taken time to go out of their way to do something special for you, they deserve a handwritten thank you note. Certainly, an e-mail thank you gets the message across quickly. However, the handwritten note adds a special touch.

This is very similar to a handshake. Do you want to receive a warm sincere handshake or will the soft, wimpy, get it over with style do?

Interview Skills - Keep Positive

Unfortunately, most people have left a job because of a negative experience at that place of employment.  No matter what happened, leave it there and move on.

When interviewing for a new position, never speak negatively about your former employer.  No one likes a complainer or whiner.  Rather than speak about the negative, try to talk about what you learned or the positive growth you had while employed there.

Always remember the rule, “If you don’t have something nice to say, than don’t say anything”.