Etiquette School of Ohio

Tipping Bartenders

Whether you are socializing at the bar or waiting for a table, the bartender should be tipped between 15 and 20 percent of the bar tab.

Please don’t forget to tip the bartender if your tab is transfered to your table to be paid with the dinner bill.

How To Answer, “How are you?”

As I approached a cashier at the checkout counter today, she greeted me with a smile and asked, “How are you?”  I responded by saying, “I’m fine, thank you. How are you?”  I expected to hear the usual, “Fine, thanks.”

But, the cashier began telling me how tired she was because she worked a double, didn’t get any sleep, feels as though she lives at the store, trying to get ready for vacation but doesn’t have time because she’s been working so many hours to be able to take vacation, can’t wait to get to Virginia so she can sleep the entire vacation, and on, and on, and on….

At first, I was a little annoyed and overwhelmed with too much information.  But then I realized, I did ask.  At least she felt comfortable speaking with me.  I do like to give the impression of being approachable.

If we really don’t want to know how someone is doing, we shouldn’t ask.  A simple greeting such as “Hello”, “Good morning”, or “Good to see you”, would be most appropriate.

Unfortunately, our society uses, “How are you?” very casually and with no real interest in knowing how an individual is doing.

With that said, the next time you are greeted with, “How are you?”, without a sincere interest to support it, simply respond with,  “Fine, thank you”, or “I’m doing well.  Thank you for asking”.

Difficult Foods - Mussels

Mussels are only considered difficult to eat when served in the their shells. If you follow these simple guidelines, you may not find them to be a difficult food.

1. Holding the mussel shell with one hand, remove the mussel from the shell with a fork. A small seafood fork is preferred, but a regular fork will do.

2. Dip the mussel into melted butter or a sauce of your choice. It should be eaten in one bite.

3. The empty shell should be placed in a bowl provided solely for empty shells.

4. The remaining broth in the bowl may be eaten with a soup spoon if you choose to eat it.

On a side note, if the shell does not open easily or at all, do not eat it. The mussel was most likely dead before cooking and is considered to be spoiled.

Golf Etiquette - Exiting the Bunker

I have written about making the bunker presentable as if no one had ever entered it after hitting the ball out of the bunker. (September 2, 2007) Today, I would like to address what you should do after exiting the bunker.

After walking in the bunker sand, you will have sand on the bottom of your golf shoes. Please remember to brush your feet on the grass or tap your shoe with the side of the club to remove the excess sand. Otherwise, you will track footprints across the green. This is almost as bad as leaving muddy footprints on the carpet at home.

Telephone Etiquette - Don’t Relay Too Much Information When Answering the Phone

On numerous occasions, I have been given more information than I need when calling a business or a residence. When asking to speak with a certain individual, I only need to know if they are available to speak with me at this time. If they’re not available, when can I reach them or may I leave a message?

• I do not need to know they have been in the restroom for the past 20 minutes and should be out soon or just left their desk to go to the restroom - so give them a little extra time. (Is there a problem?)
• I do not need to know they haven’t arrived to the office yet. (They are not punctual)
• I do not need to know they left the office early for the day. (They are slackers)
• I do not need to know who they’re meeting with. (They’re meeting with my competitor!!!)
• I do not need to know how long they’ve been gone for lunch. (Not punctual and a slacker)
• I do not want a run down of their busy schedule. (You don’t think my schedule is busy too?)
• I do not need to know mom or dad is taking a bath. (Too much information)
• I really do not want to know the new puppy just got sick all over the new sofa. (Note to self: do not sit on that sofa during the dinner party this weekend)
• I don’t want to know mom or dad doesn’t want to speak with me. (Why, don’t they like me?)

The rules for answering a business phone are the same rules that apply to answering a home phone. Employees and children should be taught the same basic manners.

Simply say, “I’m sorry, _______ is not available to speak with you at this time. May I take a message?”

Funeral Etiquette - The Cemetery

The decision to go to the cemetery after the funeral service is an individual one usually based on your relationship with the family.

Upon arriving at the cemetery, park and leave your vehicle to gather at the grave site as quickly as possible. This is not a time to socialize with others or begin a conversation with the immediate family. It is most respectful not to begin a conversation with the immediate family before, during, or after the grave side service.

Immediate family members will stand or sit closest to the casket with additional family and friends standing behind them.

Once the service is over, you may choose to place a flower on the casket before quietly leaving the grave site. It is most courteous to follow the family from the cemetery rather than leave before them.

The immediate family may want to have a private moment at the grave site before exiting. Please step away and allow them to have their privacy.

Chinese Dining Etiquette - Slurping and Burping

From a very young age, American children are taught not to make noises such as slurping or burping at the table while dining.  In the Chinese culture, these sounds are considered compliments to the host when made while dining.

For example:

1.  To make a slurping sound while eating soup either from a bowl or spoon is a compliment to the chef.

2.  Burping after the meal means the meal was very good and most satisfying.

Do Not Talk When the Teacher is Speaking

Students are returning to school classrooms throughout the country.  There is an excitement in the air with all the newness of teachers, classmates, activities and goals for the year.  Floors are shiny, writing boards are clean, desks are in order and the smell of fresh paint may even be in the air.

All this newness motivates students to share their excitement with classmates.  As a teacher, I encourage socializing, however, there is a time and place for it.  When the teacher is speaking to the class is definitely not the proper time or place.

Please be polite and do not speak to other students in the class when the teacher or another student is addressing the class. Doing so  wastes time and is rude not only to the teacher, but to everyone in the class.

How To Eat Corn on the Cob

Corn on the cob should only be served at casual dining settings. Corn served at a formal setting should always be cut off the cob in the kitchen before serving.

To eat corn on the cob:

1. Butter and season only a few rows of corn at a time. Do not butter the entire ear before eating.

2. Hold the corn firmly by the ends with two hands. Corn skewers may be used.

3. Eat a few rows from left to right at a time. Do not eat a circle or ring around the corn.

4. Eat as neatly as you can without making loud gnawing or gnashing sounds.

5. Remember to wipe your mouth with your napkin after setting the cob of corn down.

Driving Etiquette - Signaling With Headlights Gives OK To Pull In

If a semi truck or a vehicle pulling a trailer signals to pull in front of you, it is courteous to flash your lights to let the driver know there is a safe distance to pull in.  This is especially useful on highways and expressways to help increase the safety of drivers and their passengers.