Three little words, “Please excuse me”, are all you have to say when you need to leave the table.
I don’t need to know you’re visiting the restroom, taking medication, getting a nicotine fix, blowing your nose or making a phone call to the babysitter. That’s more information than anyone at the table needs to know.
The same rule applies to your return. No report card necessary.
As for the other dining guests, please do not ask for a report.