Compliment Your Prom Date

A great deal of time is devoted to the planning of a high school prom.  In addition to the decorations and ticket sales, the attire worn to the prom is probably the most time consuming and the most personally sensitive aspect of the planning.  Everyone wants to look their best for this big occasion.

It would make your date very happy to hear a nice compliment about their attire, hair, or overall appearance.   Be sincere with your compliment.  It’s easy to detect a little white lie.

A few examples of nice compliments are:

“You look great in that color!”

“You look very handsome dressed in a tuxedo.”

“You make that gown/tuxedo look amazing.”

“This is the most beautiful corsage I’ve ever seen.  You have great taste.”

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Is a Receiving Line Necessary? – Wedding Etiquette

Many wedding couples dread the tedious receiving line and frequently ask if it is necessary to have one.

The purpose of a receiving line is to greet your guests and make appropriate introductions of new family members.  If your wedding is small and few introductions are necessary, than the receiving line may be skipped.  However, if there is no receiving line, the bride and groom must greet every guest individually.  This can be accomplished by standing at the entrance of the reception area or visiting each table at the reception.

If you have a large number of guests at your wedding, it is close to impossible to catch up with every guest individually.   It is best to have a receiving line to assure you don’t miss anyone.

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He Ordered a Pizza During the Funeral!

In previous posts, I have emphasized the importance of turning cell phones off so they don’t ring during a funeral.  I did not, however, discuss the inappropriateness of placing a call on a cell phone during a funeral.  I didn’t think I needed to, but apparently, I was wrong.

While attending a funeral this weekend, the man seated across from me ordered a pizza for pick-up on his way home from the funeral.   There is never a good time to have this, or any, phone  conversation at a funeral, but his timing was terrible.  Just as we bowed our heads for a moment of silence and prayer, we heard, “large with pepperoni and mushrooms please.”  Well, at least he said please.

Cell phones should be turned off during a funeral service.  Do not make a call, send a text, or allow the phone to make any noise what so ever.

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Tea Bags and Tea Pots

Tea should be steeped in a pot until it reaches its desired strength and then poured into individual cups.

A question I frequently hear when a restaurant server brings a small pot of water and a tea cup to the table is,  “Do I place my tea bag in the pot or the tea cup to steep?”  The answer is the same as making a large pot of tea.  Place the tea bag in the small pot of water and allow it to steep until it reaches its desired strength.   Remove the tea bag from the pot and place it on the saucer before pouring the tea into the cup.

 

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Cocktail Napkins

A cocktail napkin is a small napkin usually made of paper but may be linen for more formal events.  It is used to prevent drips from a glass and make holding a cold drink more pleasant so the condensation from the glass does not make our hands wet.  The napkins should be served with a cocktail and also be available for guests on or  near the bar area.

A cocktail party tip: Hold the drink in your left hand to keep your right hand dry and free to shake hands with other guests.

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Should the Ring Be Returned if the Engagement is Broken?

If the woman breaks the engagement, she should return the engagement ring to her ex-fiance.

If the man breaks the engagement, the woman may keep the ring.  However, she may want to return the ring so it doesn’t remain a reminder of the relationship and she can move forward with her life and future relationships.

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Wedding Etiquette – Changing Names

It is not mandatory for a woman to take her husband’s name in marriage. It’s a personal choice.

Ladies may choose to keep their maiden name, hyphenate their maiden name with their husband’s name or select an entirely different name.  The time to do this is when you apply for your marriage license.

Men shouldn’t expect their wives to take their names.  They can take their wives name or come up with any combination of  the two for a new name.

I highly encourage ladies to be independent and individual.  You do not have to follow the crowd on this one.  It’s time to break out of the mold.

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Concert/Theater Courtesy

I attended a Christmas concert a few nights ago and was shocked at the inconsiderate behavior of the audience members.  People stood up and walked around during the performance with no regard to other audience members or the performing group.  This was a classical music concert – not a rock concert – which is why I’m so shocked.

I understand there are situations when you have to leave your seat.  If possible, try to do so in between numbers so you don’t disrupt the experience of the performance for others.  If you are are re-entering the theater, wait until you hear applause in between numbers to open the door and find your seat.

I was enjoying a beautiful arrangement of “O Holy Night” when a woman fell down a flight of stairs trying to find her seat in the dark.  If she had only waited 20 seconds, the number would have ended and the house lights would have come up for intermission.   Fortunately, she did not injure herself.  However, the beauty and solitude of the song was interrupted with a thud and scream.

If the performers are gracious enough to provide an encore, do not leave or stand in the aisle while they are performing. Other audience members may want to enjoy the encore.  I missed the most spectacular visual effects of the concert because i couldn’t see over the heads of the crowd standing in the exit ramp so they could get out ahead of everyone else.

Leaving or walking around while others are performing for you is no different than walking away from someone who is speaking to you.  If you don’t want to listen to the performance or don’t have the time to stay for the entire performance, then don’t attend in the first place.

Oh, and even though the concession stand sells food items with noisy cellophane wrappers, it does not give you permission to open them during the performance.  You should be quiet and make no distracting motions.  No talking, texting, toe tapping or crinkling.

Take the time to slow down for a few hours and enjoy the beauty and magic of the performing arts.

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How to Handle Bullies – Etiquette for Children and Parents

To be a target of a bully can be a frightening experience for a child or teenager.  A bully is most likely hoping to get this type of a response from their victim.  It gives them a sense of power.

If someone is bullying you, tell your parents, teacher, principal, or a responsible adult immediately – even if the bully tells you not to.  Never attempt to handle the situation on your own or keep it secret.  Trained adults are available to help you.

If you see or hear of someone being bullied, find an adult and tell them what’s going on.

Parents should contact school administrators to learn how to deal with the situation.

We all need to work together to stop bullies and keep our schools and children safe.

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Borrowing Items

When I sat down at my desk today, I intended to write an etiquette tip for children about borrowing.  I observed an argument between two children yesterday fueled by one child borrowing an item from the other child without asking for permission and felt inspired to write an etiquette tip on the topic.

As I sat down at my desk to begin writing, I looked for my favorite coaster to set my cup of hot tea on.  The coaster was nowhere to be found.  After a 20 minute search, I finally found it on another person’s desk.  I asked the person why my coaster was on their desk, and they said they needed it yesterday and forgot to return it.  By the time I finished my “great coaster search” and returned to my desk, my tea was cold and I wasted over 20 minutes of my day.  So I am now writing an entry for everyone, young and old.

If you need to borrow an item, always ask for permission first.  If the owner of the item is not available to ask for permission, do not borrow the item.  Never borrow or take anything without asking permission.

When using a borrowed item, take good care of it and return it promptly in the same or better condition than you found it.  For example, I borrowed my neighbors wheelbarrow which was covered in mud.  Before returning it, I washed the wheelbarrow so it was as clean as whistle to show my appreciation for the opportunity to borrow the wheelbarrow.

If you damage or break a borrowed item, tell the owner and replace, repair, or pay for the item.

Finally, it never hurts to write a thank you note after someone has allowed you to borrow something.  It’s always a nice touch.

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