Etiquette School of Ohio

Should Wedding Gifts Be Returned if a Marriage Ends in Divorce?

Posted on November 8, 2011 by Sandy Hyde

Since Kim Kardashian announced her divorce after only 72 days of marriage, the big question on everyone’s mind is, “Will she return the wedding gifts?”

Etiquette experts from all over the country are offering their advice on this topic and appear to have differences in opinion. In the end, there are many different circumstances of divorce and the couple has to do what they feel is right in their situation.

When ruling on the topic of whether or not to return wedding gifts after a divorce, this etiquette expert is going to stick with traditional etiquette rules also supported by Peggy Post in the 75th Anniversary Edition of “Emily Post’s Etiquette“.

Wedding gifts are not conditional upon the success of the marriage. The divorced couple does not have to return any wedding gifts. The exception to this rule would be if a marriage was annulled and the couple did not live together.

If you gave someone a housewarming gift and they moved away after a short period of time, you wouldn’t expect the gift to be returned. If you sent someone a gift for a promotion within a company and they terminated their employment with that company, you wouldn’t expect them to return the gift. We give gifts, unconditionally, to celebrate an event.

Yes, there have been recent situations where two people faked a marriage to receive gifts. It is unfortunate, but even in these cases, the couples have to look themselves in the mirror everyday and live with what they have done. If you gave them a gift, you chose to do so. It’s done.

Something else to consider in this dilemma is used gifts. What if I gave a couple a toaster they used before divorcing? Used items cannot be returned so I would not get my gift back. My neighbor may have given the same couple Waterford crystal which they did not use. Is it right they get their gift returned and I don’t?

Perhaps we should ask ourselves if their is anything we can do for two people who are going through a traumatic event in their lives rather than worry about a material gift we gave them. After all, etiquette rules are supposed to help others feel good about themselves.

Remarriage Introduction Etiquette

Posted on October 21, 2011 by Sandy Hyde

When second, third, or in Elizabeth Taylor’s case, eighth marriages occur, families and relationships are merged. As titles change, introductions may become awkward. Here are a few tips to help make these introductions less awkward and more respectful for everyone.

Introduce an ex-in-law as a friend. For example, if you are introducing your ex-brother-in-law say, “This is my friend, Bob Waters.” It’s not necessary to go through the former family history when making introductions.

If you have children from a previous marriage, you may introduce your ex-father-in-law as their grandparent. “This is my son Tyler’s grandfather, Bill Baker.”

If your new spouse has children and they refer to you as their stepmother or stepfather, introduce the child in the same manner. “This is my stepdaughter, Jennifer.”

Introduce siblings in a blended family accordingly. “This is my daughter, Becky’s, stepbrother, Alex.”

Posted in Etiquette Tips, Introductions, Wedding Etiquette | Tagged introducing blended family members, introducing ex-in-laws, introducing stepchildren or stepparents, introduction etiquette, Introductions, proper introductions, Wedding Etiquette | 1 Comment

What Can Happen When Cell Phone Etiquette Runs Amuck

Posted on September 9, 2011 by Sandy Hyde

I spend a great deal of time informing you of proper etiquette rules. Occasionally, I point out why these rules are necessary. Rarely, do I hypothesize about what could happen if etiquette is not followed.

Today I would like to share I joke I recently heard with you. Even though the intention of this joke is to make people laugh, it’s not far from the truth. Perhaps it has actually happened to you.

Enjoy, learn, and please help keep our etiquette standards from going down the toilet by turning cell phones off in public restrooms.

I was in in the public restroom – I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice in the other stall: “Hi, how are you?”……..Me: embarrassed, “Doin’ fine!”Stall: “So what are you up to?”…….Me: “Uhhh, I’m like you, just sitting here.”Stall: “Can I come over?” ……… Me: (attitude) “No, I’m a little busy right now!!”Stall: “Listen, I’ll have to call you back. There’s an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions!

Posted in Cell Phone Etiquette, Etiquette Tips, Public Courtesies | Tagged Cell Phone Etiquette, etiquette, etiquette humor, etiquette instruction, Etiquette Tips, Public Courtesies, public restroom etiquette | 1 Comment

Keep Sidewalks Clean and Clear

Posted on August 31, 2011 by Sandy Hyde

Sidewalks are put in place for the safety of pedestrians. They provide an alternative to walking on a street surface. It is the responsibility of the property owner to keep the sidewalk clean and clear.

Here are a few guidelines to consider for sidewalk maintenance. Your neighbors will be appreciative of your “sidewalk etiquette” efforts.

1) Remove grass clippings from the sidewalk after mowing.

2) Remove leaves, branches, or nuts that have fallen from trees.

3) Do not leave anything on the sidewalk such as a bicycle, skateboard, trash receptacle, or any other items that would restrict passage on the sidewalk.

4) Remove snow and ice from the sidewalk.

5) Do not park a vehicle in a driveway where it will block a sidewalk.

6) Trim hedges or low hanging trees along the edge of the sidewalk.

7) If there is a large crack or hole in the sidewalk, alert pedestrians by spraying a brightly colored paint on or around it until it can be repaired. This is especially helpful for senior citizens who may not otherwise see the crack or hole.

8) Pick up goose or dog droppings as well as trash.

9) Pull or spray weeds growing in the cracks of the sidewalk.

Posted in Etiquette Tips, Neighborly Etiquette | Leave a comment

Clip Nails in Private Please

Posted on July 21, 2011 by Sandy Hyde

Clipping your fingernails or toenails falls into the personal grooming category and should be done in private. Never in public.

Airline attendants recently created a top 10 list of annoying things passengers do. I was shocked to learn clipping fingernails and toenails on board made the list. I’m not shocked they are annoyed by it, I am shocked people would actually do this in public, especially on an airplane.

Please present yourselves as a finished product, not as a work in progress thank you.

Posted in Etiquette Tips, Personal Grooming | Tagged appropriate grooming personal presentation, fingernail etiquette, grooming etiquette, grooming manners, manicures, pedicures, Personal Grooming, toenail etiquette | 1 Comment

Do Not Bring Smelly Food on the Airplane

Posted on July 19, 2011 by Sandy Hyde

In an effort to cut costs, airlines have eliminated food service from many flights and encourage passengers to bring their own food on board if they need a snack.

This is a great idea. However, when selecting food to bring with you, please avoid foods with strong or foul odors. Airplane cabins are tight quarters and other passengers do not want to smell your onions, garlic, or muenster cheese. Be courteous to passengers and flight attendants who have to endure your company for the duration of the flight.

Posted in Etiquette Tips, Travel Etiquette | Leave a comment

Country Club Attire

Posted on July 14, 2011 by Sandy Hyde

Dress codes vary amongst country clubs. Some clubs require traditional, conservative attire, while other clubs are more relaxed with their dress requirements. Dress codes will also vary within the club depending on where you are at the facility. The dress code for the golf course will be different than the dress code for the dining room.

It is imperative to be aware of and follow a club’s dress code whenever you’re on the property as a member or a guest. Members should also make a note to inform guests about the dress code so their guests are not denied access to the club upon their arrival.

When in doubt, follow these guidelines:

On the golf course:

Collared shirt worn tucked in

Slacks or walking shorts, ladies may also wear a golf skirt

Golf shoes or shoes that will not damage the course

In the clubhouse:

Men: slacks, collared shirt, and jacket Ladies: Dress, slacks, or skirt with coordinating top

Never:

Denim, short shorts, cargo pants or shorts, tee shirts, tank tops, tube tops, sweatpants, or workout wear. Also, nothing with frayed edges or visible rips and tears. If it’s too short, tight, low cut, revealing or too anything, don’t wear it.

Last night, I was attending a meeting at a country club when a young couple walked by touring the facility for their wedding wearing short shorts and cargo shorts. They were distracting, looked out of place, and were disrespectful to the club and its’ members. They should have researched the dress code before their arrival.

Finally, remember it is always better to be over dressed than under dressed.

Posted in Country Club Etiquette, Etiquette Tips, Golf Etiquette | Tagged appropriate attire, Country club etiquette, dress codes, golf attire, Golf Etiquette | 1 Comment

Restaurant Reservations

Posted on June 28, 2011 by Sandy Hyde

If you don’t want to end up on a restaurant’s ‘black list’, you may want to follow these rules.

Always be polite when making the reservation.
Call the day of the reservation to confirm and eliminate any last minute surprises.Some restaurants will call you to confirm.
Call the restaurant if you’re going to be late. You don’t want them to give your table away. Also, by letting the restaurant know when you will be arriving will allow them to handle the flow of diners.
Call the restaurant if the number of guests have changed. If the restaurant is holding a table of 6 for you and you only need a table for 4, they might be able to accommodate a walk-in customer who needs a table for 6.
Call the restaurant if you need to cancel the reservation. A reservation is a promise by the restaurant to have a table waiting for you. It’s important to keep your promise to show up. If not, let them know so they can give the table to another customer.

Place yourself in the position of the restaurant owner or manager. How would you want to be treated in order to run your business successfully?

Posted in Dining Etiquette, Etiquette Tips, Restaurant Etiquette | Tagged Dining Etiquette, reservation etiquette, restaurant etiquette, restaurant reservations | Leave a comment

Check Your Attitude Before Your Interview

Posted on May 26, 2011 by Sandy Hyde

Recent graduates are looking for employment and the competition is stiff in this tough economy. New grads are competing not only against other grads, but seasoned employees who have lost their jobs due to downsizing.

Something a recent graduate can have to their benefit over a seasoned employee is a willingness to listen, learn, and be trainable. Often employers want someone who they can mold to the ways of their company rather than have someone ‘rock the boat’ with the way they used to do things.

Have a positive attitude and open mind during the interview. One of my favorite sayings is, “Attitude, not aptitude, gains altitude”.

Best wishes for much success!

Posted in Business Etiquette, Etiquette Tips, Interview Skills, Professional Image | 2 Comments

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