Not everyone is thrilled to have their photo posted on a social media site. Always ask permission before posting a photo of someone.
Social media sites are a great way to share photos, however, save this opportunity for your individual photos. Share photos taken of others by sending the photo directly to the individuals in it.
You may
think texting in the movie theater offers a quiet way for you to communicate without disturbing other audience members, however, the back-light glow from your device is very distracting.
If you must text, leave the theater. Otherwise, wait until the movie has ended to send your message. You did pay to see the movie, so sit back and enjoy it and allow others to do the same.
It is good practice to keep your personal life separate from your professional life. Resist temptation to flirt with or date a co-worker.
Occasionally, it is difficult for someone to resist the temptation to flirt and their object of attention and/or colleague is placed in a most awkward position.
If you find yourself in this most awkward position, it is important to put a stop to the flirtation as soon as possible. Be nice, but firm in your delivery. You might want to say to the person who is flirting with you, “I really enjoy working with you and appreciate your support and friendship, but I do not date co-workers”.
It’s important to draw the line in the sand. Many people try to ignore the flirtation thinking it will go away, but they are only giving the person in pursuit hope.
If the flirtation continues after a request to stop it, then it is considered sexual harassment.
Wh
en Americans form a circle with their thumb and first finger, with the remaining three fingers pointing upward, they are communicating the message everything is okay or good. This is one of the most recognized hand gestures in the American culture.
However, this same gesture takes on a different meaning in other places throughout the world. In Japan, it may symbolize a coin or money. The French interpretation is zero, nothing, or worthless. This is also the symbol for a private body part in many countries.
The lesson here is to avoid using this hand gesture when traveling abroad unless you know exactly what the local interpretation is.
As an etiquette coach, I am frequently asked if Americans are less civil today than in the past. It’s difficult to answer this question without an accurate means to measure civility over the years.
Are Americans perceived to be less civil today than in the past? Then, I answer with an emphatic yes. The perception of our civility today is the key issue. If we think our society behaves rudely and lacks proper manners, then we need to address today’s civility. The past really doesn’t matter in this instance. What do we presently need to improve our society?
Our perception of civility is reflected in our media. In the past, if someone acted rudely at the annual hometown shindig, only the locals knew about it. Today, the instant an etiquette faux pas is made, the news spreads around the world. Etiquette rules were broken in the past, but we weren’t as aware of the indiscretions as we are in today’s high-tech world.
Media has created multiple avenues of expression to kindle a rhetorical war. We have access to 24-hour news, talk shows, blogs, and social Internet sites. Incivility in every sector of American society is magnified by our inability to unplug ourselves.
Whenever there is discontent, people want to be heard. This can be seen throughout history from religious expression, civil rights movements, troubled economies, to political unrest. The stress and anger generated by such expressions compromise our moral consensus. Constant exposure results in the deterioration of civility. What was once considered rogue behavior is now accepted in the mainstream.
Incivility has permeated all aspects of our society. Our moral filters are voided on social media sites. People say whatever is on their minds. Foul language is used frequently and casually everywhere. Road rage is flagrant. Basic manners, such as a simple “please” and “thank you,” are infrequent. Casual business attire has decreased the structure for proper business behavior.
Unquestionably, elections bring out some of the worst examples of incivility. Politicians criticize other candidates personally rather than the policies for which they stand. I received four unsolicited phone calls at home just this morning demonstrating this. Younger generations are learning by example to publicly berate and criticize others without concern for other people’s feelings.
When and how have we become so desensitized? It’s easy to blame the media and the shock value provided to increase ratings, curse technological advancements for better communication, or point to a poor economy having created stress. It’s difficult to dig deep within and blame ourselves for decreased moral standards.
The cost of incivility is high. It impacts organizations and businesses economically. Productivity decreases, work time declines, and the sense of belonging as a team player is lost. The cornerstones on which America was built are crumbling.
So, where will America stand when it comes to civility? Will we continue to settle for mediocrity or will we strive to create and maintain a society respected worldwide for its civility? The solution is easy. The process for change is difficult. The change must come from within. We must learn to respect ourselves and others, separate truth from fiction, and understand the consequences of our actions.
The Golden Rule must prevail and begin at home, but be present in all aspects of our society. Every citizen needs to step up to the plate to make change happen.
Good manners need to be a priority because life is more enjoyable when we are surrounded by polite and courteous people.
Sandra Hyde is president of the Etiquette School of Ohio in Beavercreek
Texting is quickly becoming the standard of choice for communication in our society. Here are a few tips to make sure you are following your manners when texting and not being rude:
Don’t text while driving. It’s dangerous. A quick message is not worth risking a life for. Many municipalities are passing laws to make texting while driving illegal.
Don’t text while having a face-to-face conversation. This includes dinner conversation. How rude.
Don’t text during a meeting, class, job interview, wedding, performance, or funeral. It’s not only rude, but distracting to others. Follow the same courtesies you would use for a phone call in these situations.
Do sign your text. Not everyone recognizes your number.
Do use proper punctuation. It’s time consuming and we get lazy. However, if you use texting in a professional setting, you need to use proper grammar. Don’t trust yourself to be able to switch your writing style as needed. We become creatures of habit.
Do use “text speak” selectively. Not everyone is familiar with the abbreviations and may misinterpret the meaning of your message.
Do be patient when waiting for a response. The recipient may be driving, dining, in a meeting, or attending a funeral.
Do remember texting is not private. If you don’t want it on the front page of the New York Times, don’t text it.
Do keep your messages short and to the point. If you need to write several paragraphs, make a phone call, write a letter, or send an e-mail instead.
Remember, not everyone has texting capabilities. Don’t assume the recipient has this feature on their phone. Not everyone can afford it or they elect not to have it for various reasons. Respect their decision for usage. Always check with the recipient before initiating a text conversation.
Happy and safe texting!
It is easy to forget we are always representing someone or something. It may be your family, your company, your school, or most importantly, and frequently overlooked, yourself.
Whenever we are in public or on social media, it is imperative to be a good ambassador for who or what we represent.
People make judgements by our verbal and visual presentation. This is important to remember at all times, not during work hours only.
For example, if you tend to use foul language frequently, not only do you make yourself look bad, but you also make your family, friends, and the company you work for look bad as well. Remember the saying, “Birds of a feather flock together”. The reputation of everything you are associated with depends are your public presentation. Don’t let them down. It is much easier to maintain a good reputation than to change a bad reputation.
Before you step out of the house or update your social media status, stop and think about the message you’re conveying and how it will effect who and what you represent.
Fast food restaurants do their very best to deliver food fast. People patronize these restaurant
s because they expect to get their food quickly. Please help the restaurant maintain fast service by having an idea of what you want before you approach the cashier. If you need to study the menu, then step aside and let the next customer in line place their order.
Occasionally, you may need to ask a question or two about the food selections which is fine to do, however, have a couple of options prepared in your mind so you may react in a timely manner after hearing the answers to your questions. Or, step aside and let the next customer in line place their order while you think.
The same courtesy applies to the drive thru. Think about what you would like to order while waiting in the drive thru line rather than texting or playing the drums to your favorite rock song on the steering wheel.
Recently, a lady ordered 8 subs at a Subway restaurant and didn’t know what she wanted on any of the subs. I could go on and on about her faux pas, but I won’t . You now know what she could have done differently. Rather, I would like to commend the gentleman standing in line behind her who waited patiently for her to work through each and every one of the 8 subs. His lack of reaction made my day. He demonstrated exemplary etiquette!
When food is served buffet style and you have a seated place setting, you may begin to eat when at least half of the number of guests seated at your table have returned 
from the buffet. It is not necessary to wait until everyone seated at the table has returned.
If 8 guests are seated at the table, you may begin to eat when at least 4 guests have returned from the buffet.
It’s the time of year when sounds of coughing and sneezing can be heard throughout the office. No one wants to catch the cold or flu, but what should we do if a co-worker is obviously fighting an illness?
In a perfect world, a work environment should encourage employees to stay home when they’re not feeling well. In reality, we only have a limited number of sick days and have to meet the demands of our jobs in order to keep them.
If you are the ill person’s manager, you may speak with them and ask them to go home. If you are not the manager, then you should not make any comments and focus on protecting yourself. Wash your hands frequently, get plenty of rest, eat nutritiously, and take extra vitamins to increase your immunity. You may even consider working off-site or in another area of the office if possible.
